I mentioned about the bad habits…the smoking and the drinking. I was, I think, borderline Alcoholic. There I said it out loud. (well wrote it lol) I’m clearly still dealing with some of that but It is getting so much easier and life is so much more enjoyable.
However, I did not get here overnight. Not even close. God wouldn’t leave me alone to give it ALL up. There was this gut wrenching feeling of guilt and my annoying voice in my head telling me every time I put that drink to my lips not to do it. Did I listen? Nope…Do I wish I did? Yes…I wish I had listened sooner. But that was me being Stubborn Ash…as usual.
You ever have someone hold you down, and they would tap on your forehead over and over until you named ten chocolate bars or something silly like that? LOL I know what a silly game. That is what this felt like. He was telling me and wasn’t leaving it alone that I needed to change get rid of the sin.
This made me pay more attention to the sin in my life and to the areas God may have wanted me to change, like poor decisions, bad habits, shameful behaviors. As a christian we are all still sinners, it is impossible not to be as humans.
Overcoming smoking and alcohol took me a lot of tries and fails over and over again. They have been crutches and security blankets my whole life. I knew God wasn’t going to leave it alone. He wanted better for me, and I knew his way was always better than my way.
I got down on my knees while bawling my eyes out and prayed for the Lord to help me and to be in my life, to help me change. It didn’t scare me anymore, how hard it was going to be to change or the bumps in the road along the way. I knew I could do it with his help. God provided me the tools and the support I needed to overcome the things that needed to be changed.
It is Gods grace and love that frees us and changes us. How exciting to know that even when we are not faithful he is still faithful to us and that he loves us when we are not easy to love, He loves the weak, He loves the undeserving, He loves the wretched, He loves you.
He forgives. Forgiveness brings true joy. Only when we ask God to forgive our sins, will he give us real happiness and relief from guilt. We can not hide from him, and he knows what we have done anyways so why not just ask him to forgive you?!
Psalm 32: 1-2
1 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.
2 Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.
David expresses his joy for forgiveness. God had forgiven him for the sins he had committed against Bath-sheba and Uriah. (click the link to read about that in this blog.) https://whenyouhavefaith.com/2019/07/17/your-sin-will-be-forgiven/
“God wants to forgive sinners. Forgiveness has always been part of his loving nature. He announced it to Moses (Exodus 34:6,7); he revealed it to David; he dramatically showed it to the world through Jesus Christ. These verses convey several aspects of God’s forgiveness: He forgives disobedience, covers sin, and clears our record of guilt. Paul quoted these verses in Romans 4: 7, 8 and showed that we can have this joyous experience of forgiveness through faith in Christ”. – Study Bible KJV
1Peter 5:8 – Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about seeking whom he may devour.
“Lions attack sick, young or struggling animals; they choose victims who are alone or not alert. Peter warns us to watch out for Satan when we are suffering or prosecuted. If you are feeling alone, weak, helpless and cut off from other believers, or if you are so focused on your troubles that you forget to watch for danger, those are the times when you are especially vulnerable to Satan’s attacks. During times of suffering, seek other Christians for support. Keep your eyes on Christ and resist the devil. Then, says James, “he will flee from you” – Study Bible KJV